Max.
It's the woman at table 2's 50th birthday and her husband wants us to sing to her.
If I had a dollar every time a man asked me to do something to his wife, I'd be a millionaire.
I remember when Happy Birthday first came up.
I never thought it would catch on.
Go! And smile.
When you fake smile, everybody else fakes smile back.
Nobody wants to hear that lame song.
If we want to humiliate her in public, why don't we go over there and pull her top down? Come on, let's just go sing and make the best of it.
Ready? One, two, three Happy birthday to you Whoa! I apologize.
It's hard enough your husband took you to a diner on your birthday and now you have to listen to white Mariah? No! Happy ***.
To yoooooooou I have announcement to make.
I agree with what Max said before.
What? That we should tie a little bell around you, so we know when you're near? The diner needs a fresh, new way to celebrate the customer birthday.
So I just went and wrote a special song.
Han, I'd be happy to look at what you've written so far.
I took music theory in college.
I once wrote an entire original musical based on the French revolution.
Um, sorry to step on your nerd turf, but Les Mis is already a musical about the French revolution.
Yes, but mine was from the point of view of the rich.
What are you going to rewrite next-- the musical rent from the point of view of the landlord? Han, this is a lovely start, but-- A lovely start? No, I mean, it's good.
But not good enough.
I know what you are saying.
"You need to practice more, Han.
"You never will be as good as your sister, Han.
"Whole family going on vacation without you while you practice, Han.
" Back off, tiger mom! Hey, Caroline, is Max around? Um, she might be.
I'll go check.
You'll never guess who just came into the restaurant.
You'll be very happy.
Gary, the fat guy from teen mom? Someone you like, someone you want to kiss, someone you're hot for.
Tyler, the skinny guy from teen mom? What's Johnny doing here? I told him not to show his face unless-- Unless he broke up with his girlfriend.
And now he's here, showing his face, - which means-- - You can't know that for sure.
Fine.
Tell me one other reason he could possibly be in here.
He needs Han to solve a complex math problem? Max! Max, it's pretty obvious that he's in here because he broke up with his girlfriend "Cassandra" I mean, what else could it be? When I had millions of dollars, I had no idea why guys were coming to see me.
"Do they want me, or do they want my money?" But you have nothing! So basically that just leaves you.
Way to puff me up before I go through that door.
This is so exciting.
Will you stop? Don't be such a girl.
Hair? Teeth? Anything? You're good.
Wait.
More.
- Really? - Trust me.
Oh, uh, hey, Johnny.
When did you get here? Uh, just now.
I, uh--I came here because I want to tell you something.
Yes? Max, I think you and I have something special.
And I don't want to lose that.
So I came down here to ask Even though it didn't work out, can we still be friends? - Oh.
- What? You have got to be kidding! Oh.
[Clears throat] What's going on over there, Caroline? My friend Johnny and I have no idea what you're upset about.
I was just reacting to the news that we're out of pie.
I really cannot believe it.
I totally thought it would go a different way.
Caroline Why don't you go over there to the pie carrousel and mourn the loss of our pie? So, we're cool? Yeah, we're cool.
Why wouldn't we be? We never dated or anything like that.
Of course we're friends.
I am so relieved.
So, uh, you gonna go back to busting my balls, like always? Yes.
[Laughs] We're such good friends, I might just Bust them with my feet! Good morning.
I'm trying to send out a get-to-know-us email blast for the cupcake business.
But your wi-fi is so slow.
Don't tell me-- tell cathyhome17, whoever and wherever she is.
Okay, well, I'm just going to run down to the coffee place and send it.
Do you approve? Nice job.
You just gave me a compliment? I knew it-- you're depressed.
You're so depressed about you and Johnny just being friends, you don't even have the energy to be you.
What? Oh, honey, do you want a hug? - I'm fine.
- How could you be fine? The man was so into you, he painted a billboard of the two of you kissing.
And now he just wants to be friends? Please call in sick to your babysitting job and take to the bed.
Whenever I used to get depressed, I'd take to the bed.
One time, I took to the bed for a week.
Listen, unlike you, Jane Austen, I will never take to the bed.
Giving into feelings is for rich people.
Regular people just have to get up, get drunk, and go fulfill their babysitting duties.
Max, take to the bed.
Look, this is my pattern, okay? I fall for the wrong guy, I find out they're with a girl, a bottle, or a needle, and I move on.
And sometimes I use a bottle to help me do it Or a needle or a girl.
But when I'm done, I'm done.
That's it? You're just over it? Wow.
I'm still sad because Kyle Enright didn't invite me on his private jet to Mykonos for his 12th birthday.
Well, not me.
Just flip a switch and those feelings are gone.
I only have two switches in my life-- one turns off my emotions, the other makes a car bounce.
Okay, I better go.
If you get there after 10:30, you can't hear yourself think over the sounds of people skyping to the Philippines.
Max, are you sure you're all right? Max.
Are you about to come over here and soft-touch me? - I want to so bad.
- Leave! Go to the coffee place.
Soft-touch the barista.
[Baking papers rustle] [Door closes] Excuse me, miss.
You keep your door open like that, this rat's probably going to get inside.
Don't worry.
You should see the size of my cat.
What are you doing here? I knew you'd be home for another hour, so I brought you coffee.
And I wanted to say Thanks for understanding the situation.
Hey, you don't need to get all "hallmark presents: Johnny soft eyes" on me.
Okay? You're not my type, anyway.
You're a bartender who's close to liquor all night and your not an alcoholic.
热门英文电视剧
老友记 Friends摩登家庭 Modern Family绝望主妇 Desperate Housewives破产姐妹 2 Broke Girls权利的游戏 Game of Thrones黑镜 Black Mirror爱,死亡和机器人 Love, Death & Robots杀死伊芙 Killing Eve第二十二条军规 Catch-22神盾局特工 Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.豆瓣高分英文剧
瑞克和莫蒂 Rick and Morty老友记 Friends火线 The Wire怪诞小镇 Gravity Falls探险活宝 Adventure Time with Finn and Jake无耻之徒(美版) Shameless飞出个未来 Futurama欢乐一家亲 Frasier 成长的烦恼 Growing Pains兄弟连 Band of Brothers飞哥与小佛 Phineas and Ferb风骚律师 Better Call Saul少年正义联盟 Young Justice亿万 Billions咱们裸熊 We Bare Bears副总统 Veep鬼屋欢乐送 Ghosts伦敦生活 Fleabag绅士杰克 Gentleman公关 Flack梅尔罗斯 Patrick Melrose9. And the Really Petty Cash (第1季)【完整台词】
所属电视剧:2 Broke Girls
9. And the Really Petty Cash 全部台词 (一共 4 页)
Copyright © 2021 TaiCiShe.com 版权所有。 联系我们