1
Miss, I'm done here.
Oh, I've been done here for years.
You don't see me getting a parade.
(generator hums)
OLEG: Oh, looks like
we lost electricity.
Uh-oh, all the food in the
refrigerator will go worse.
EARL: Is it a bad sign that
I can actually see everything better?
Well, we finally found lighting
that made the food look edible.
Yeah, it's almost dark
enough for Caroline
to agree to have sex in here.
Max, have you ever seen balls in light?
They're not pretty.
HAN: Nobody panic!
The power is out in the whole building.
We've got less energy
than a Steely Dan concert.
Han, you look exactly like
a Doozer from "Fraggle Rock" right now.
All right, we've got
to keep the diner safe
from hooligans and looters.
You're still on the clock!
And you're on my foot.
Sorry, Earl, I can't
see you in the dark.
But not in a racist way.
And I can't see you in the light
in a short way.
Han, who would loot this diner?
Unless they're looters looking
specifically for disappointment.
Max?
Just taking this vodka
and cash register to a safe place.
(Peter Bjorn and John)
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
(cash register bell dings)
Our new dessert bar
is under construction
and it's not quite there yet.
Kind of like the credit card bill
I lied about mailing,
but I've chosen you two to
be the first to get a preview.
She invited other
people.
They said, "No.
"
She told me there would
be some hard candy.
Better be some hard candy.
I have peppermints inside.
Then we're fine.
So it doesn't look like much now,
but with a little
moxie and a lot of work,
it's gonna be gorgeous.
Like Khloé Kardashian.
Is that the one that's a dude now?
Okay, where's my treat?
Impressive,
and you've stolen almost nothing
from the diner to do this.
Oh, wait, I see my sport coat
is being used as a paint rag.
That coat's yours?
I thought it belonged
to a service Chihuahua.
Hey, everybody.
Oh, yeah.
Hubba, hubba, hot stuff.
You know, if I were still single,
I'd let you Spackle my hole.
You heard what she said, beefcake.
I'm not gay.
I'm just very pro-harassment.
I'm proud of you, girls.
You're making your dreams come true,
and my dreams, too,
assuming you'll allow me
to start a tab here.
I'll never pay.
Does this mean you're not
paying your tab at the diner?
Uh-huh.
Earl?
He walks fast when he wants to.
I gotta get going too.
You know, we just came
from the baby doctor,
and he put me on bed rest.
At first I thought the
doctor said, "Bed arrest, '
which is one of my favorite games.
Sophie, what's wrong? Are you okay?
Well, I'm five months along,
and the baby already weighs 15 pounds,
so the doctor's just a little worried.
He's afraid it'll fall out
like a watermelon through
a plastic grocery bag.
Come on, baby, let's get you in bed
and get your legs up.
I can't believe none of
this has to do with sex.
Yeah.
Knock, knock.
It's Randy.
I got a six-pack
And I brought some beers.
Who wants some warm, wet, deli beer?
This is why you're the
best boyfriend ever.
Warm, wet deli beer
is the official drink
of my personality.
So, Randy, look.
What do you think of the new bar space?
I've got a bar-related question.
How you gonna fit in the bar?
It's all right here
on the blueprints, see?
The bar goes here, so
that leaves ten feet
for the cafe tables and
the front door entrance.
Uh, you see this number ten right here?
You see the two dashes after
it? Those are inches, not feet.
You got 10 inches.
First time I've ever been
disappointed with 10 inches.
Well, that's the last
time I get an architect
from the "casual encounters"
section of Craigslist.
(knocking on wall) Ugh.
The lady from the pizza place
next door is banging back again.
Yeah, they should pay less
attention to our business
and more attention to their own.
There's so much oil on their pizza,
the U.
S.
might invade it.
RANDY: You know what?
I think we've just
blown past "warm beers.
"
I'm gonna go get us some whiskey.
10 inches always looks a
whole lot bigger with bourbon.
Oh, my God, Max, we need more space.
I know; we spend way
too much time together.
Hey!
Enough with the noise, cupcake bitches.
You gotta stop with this
freakin' racket already.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down, Gina.
What, 'cause I'm Italian,
my name's gotta be Gina?
It's Angie.
Gina's my middle name.
Oh, I thought your middle
name was "bangs a lot.
"
Angie, we're expanding our shop,
and we have a permit
for the construction,
so it's above board.
Which, yes, even I'm surprised about.
You got a permit to destroy my business?
Nobody wants to eat pizza
next to this constant freaking racket.
What's your freaking point?
Max, I didn't know you spoke Italian.
Follow me.
I want yous to see
the hell you're making.
Um, that's a firm pass.
- I'll throw in a free slice.
- Okay.
(video game beeping)
See?
See what you're doing to our office
from all that banging next door?
You're destroying it.
Uh, look, you can't destroy a room
that has this strong of
a "hostage basement" vibe.
You got cracks, and falling plaster,
and my brother and I are fed up.
Right, Angelo?
He says, "Right.
"
He's my twin.
We agree with our minds.
Um, Angie, when do we
get that free slice?
Not to be pushy, but a deal is a deal,
and today's a carb day for me.
(hammer banging on wall)
What the frig?
I just got my hair cut for
our high school reunion.
Now it's ruined.
(hammer banging on wall)
It's a frickin' war zone in here!
My father would be turning in his grave
if we'd been able to
give him a proper burial.
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