1
MAX: Previously on 2 Broke Girls
The hurricane is headed
right for Williamsburg.
Fedoras are blowing down the streets,
craft beers are spilling everywhere,
and indie bands are
cancelling practice.
(wind whistling)
This explains why Randy isn't here yet.
He's probably stuck in the store.
He's not answering and it's
going straight to voicemail.
He probably blocked you.
We're really broken up.
Let's go hug our dessert bar.
It was probably so scared.
Oh, my God, Max.
Our dessert bar is destroyed.
I think we have to finally
admit it to ourselves.
Ugh, we're cursed.
(water drips)
Yeah, this is personal.
Come on, when that gypsy
pointed at me in first grade
and said, "Biggus Boobus,"
that was a curse.
I'm sure we weren't the only business
that was ruined by the storm.
We're not cursed.
(water drips)
Yeah, now it's starting to burn.
Well, I am choosing to take
this disaster as a sign.
It's not like we don't have insurance.
And while they're
rebuilding this place,
I'm gonna go surprise Randy
and try to rebuild us.
You see the parallels?
You get it.
She gets it.
Girls, did you hear?
Turns out only one business
in the entire area
was affected by the storm.
I wonder which one
Oh.
File this under
"Story For Another Time"?
(rattling)
(screams)
Biggus Boobus!
(rock music)
Ugh, I don't believe this!
All the airports are more shut down
than I am emotionally.
Earl, have you had any luck
with any busses or trains?
I'm on it.
What button do I push for the Internet?
I just talked to the insurance company.
They're gonna pay for all our repairs.
And they gave me some extra money
'cause I told them we were pregnant.
Can we please focus on how
I'm gonna get to L.
A.
?
I have low self-esteem
and a well-viewed sex tape.
I should be there already!
Max, I'm gonna try
to put this delicately.
You're acting like
a cray-cray psycho stalker.
I am not a stalker.
I'm the one that gets stalked.
That reminds me,
I should probably tell Gary
I'm going out of town.
Oh, he knows.
He left a bon voyage dookie
on our welcome mat this morning.
But the card was sweet.
Well, then as your best friend,
I am going with you
to make sure you're okay.
You know, Randy did give me
an airline voucher
when I ruined our relationship
the first time.
I could probably get
two tickets for that,
so I could put my feet up.
Or I guess you could come.
If I'm the wing-lady
on your stalking mission,
I'm gonna go ahead
and call this a vacation.
Wow, that's sad.
All right, I'm almost on the Internet.
Does anybody know my password?
It's "Earl.
"
Oh, right, my first dog's name.
Hey, everybody!
I just got in a fight
with one of Barbara's friends
in the IKEA ball pit.
Yeah, if you're gonna
bring meatballs in there,
you gotta bring some for everybody.
Yeah, there's never enough
meatballs in a ball pit.
Earl, how we doing on our trip to L.
A.
?
Well, the rental cars are rented out,
trains are down,
and no flights till Tuesday.
And I got a message from emoji.
Who's emoji?
Hey, why don't you two
just road trip it?
You know, throw a cooler of beer
with pulled pork in the trunk
and just go, baby.
I would do the same if I didn't have
that giant breastfeeding baby.
I'm talking about Oleg.
May I suggest
the Toyota Yaris I sold to Han?
It's efficient on gas,
and the trunk can't
be unlocked from the inside.
Oh, no! You're not taking my car.
It's my turn to drive my quilting group
to the farmers' market.
Han, we can do this the hard way
where you don't give me the keys
and I give you a wedgie,
or the easy way where
you do give me the keys
and I give you a slightly
less intense wedgie.
The keys are in my office,
but you're not
Oh, dear, I've said too much.
Who do you see winning this one?
And you should know,
Max keeps a pocket full of sand
for these kinda things.
Jingle-jangle, bitches!
You should be fired for
what happened back there.
Bathing suit areas are off limits.
Fine, use my car,
but I'm going to be driving it.
I'm coming with you.
I finally got the gas pedal
extension where I like it.
But who's gonna run the diner?
FYI, I managed a pretty
successful jerk shack for years.
Ew, Oleg.
What? Get your mind out of the gutter.
We sold Jamaican-style chicken.
As a front for full-release massages.
Y'all, what was
my first dog's name again?
- Earl.
- What?
I guess my only options here
are Oleg and Earl.
Woof, real Murderers' Row.
Who are you gonna have waitress?
'Cause you know they'll have to match
the extremely low bar
set by my associate and myself.
Ohh!
Oh, can I do it?
Oh, who am I kidding?
Or course I can!
I actually used to be
a waitress at Pooters.
You mean Hooters?
No, it was Poland's version.
Yeah, all the waitresses
were bottomless.
I'm hoping there were
a lot of hairnets involved.
Oh, you'd think so.
Han, I'd say you drive
like a little old lady,
but three of them just passed us.
I had more fun driving
my bitchy friend Neil
to get his blisters drained.
Also, what's the strategy here?
We've been driving for hours.
Well, once we find an open airport,
we'll fly to L.
A.
,
where Max will surprise Randy,
and she'll be all, "Ahhh,"
and he'll be all, "Ahhh.
"
First of all, great Randy impression.
I almost gave you a little "Wahhh""
You girls have less of a game plan
than any season of
American Horror Story.
Well, who really needs
a game plan anyway?
I'm on vacation, baby.
See? Didn't even tear up that time.
What's with these snacks?
Vegetables?
Are you on that bunny diet again?
No, I gained weight on that somehow.
Han, there's a lot
of Goo Goo Dolls here.
GGD-Live Goo.
Wow.
I'm taking music criticism
from a proud member
of the Juggalo nation?
Hand me a radish.
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所属电视剧:2 Broke Girls
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