1
MAX: Previously on "2 Broke Girls"
I am choosing to take
this disaster as a sign,
and while they're rebuilding this place
I'm gonna go surprise Randy
and try to rebuild us!
Fine, use my car,
but I'm going to be driving it.
I'm coming with you.
I finally got the gas pedal extension
where I like it.
I'll just call AAA.
Cool.
Later, hater.
HAN: Wait, you're really leaving?
Who leaves someone
on the side of the road
in the middle of nowhere?
My friend, Sloppy Joe,
has a one-engine plane.
He might be able to fly
y'all all the way to LA.
Well, that's a wrap on
the first day of filming
here in Austin, Texas.
So Randy's not in Los Angeles?
He's in Texas?
Wow, you're a bad stalker, Max.
There's two things the Slop won't do.
Alert the proper authorities
of my flight pattern
or step foot in Texas.
I'll drop you here.
[both scream]
[thunder crashes]
When I agreed to follow
you cross-country
to chase your ex-boyfriend,
I didn't realize I'd be
thrown out of a plane,
scavenging for my belongings
and fighting a snake
for my favorite pants.
[snake rattles and hisses]
You can have them, sir!
Ah! Found my toothbrush.
[gasps] Max, that's disgusting.
Oh, you're right.
This isn't mine.
[gasps] Ah, found a purse
[gasps] Under this syringe.
Anything in there?
Uh
nah, pretty tapped out,
which is too bad
'cause you could use
a two-day heroin nap.
I meant my bag.
Look what else survived!
Ah-ha!
My Popchips!
Only to meet an unfortunate end.
Oh, no, Max, my wallet.
Mm, yeah, I know.
You've aged a lot
since that license picture.
No, it's gone.
All of our cash
and our credit cards were in there.
What are we gonna do? I'm freaking out.
Nah, nah, nah, calm down.
Caroline will get us out of this.
Oh, wait.
You're Caroline.
I'm calling the diner for help.
- [phone rings, chimes]
- CAROLINE: Han [garbled]
Caroline, we don't have
a good connection,
and not just because
we're dueling Scorpios.
Peek-a-boo!
- I see you!
- [laughing]
Oleg.
All right, now do it with Barbara.
Han, we had all of our belongings
thrown out of a private plane.
HAN: Caroline, you're cutting out.
All I heard was "private plane.
"
Brag much?
No, we need to get to Texas,
so can you please put $500
in my PayPal account?
What? You have $500?
Did I call you to gloat
when I bought this snazzy new vest?
I'm putting you on speaker.
- [phone beeps]
- CAROLINE: Private plane
Have credit card
[cell phone beeping]
We lost her.
Or maybe her butler
snatched her phone from her.
[quietly] Oh, God.
He hung up.
Max, can we just go back to that
terrible place we call home?
That mountain lion is
wearing my new blouse.
- And here she comes!
- [gasps]
Keep the tags on if
you wanna return it.
(Peter Bjorn and John)
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
[cash register bell dings]
I'm calling the credit card company
to send us new cards.
They're used to hearing me cry.
So is the unfortunate family
that sat behind us at "Zootopia.
"
If animals can all get along,
so can we.
Look, once we get our cards,
we'll be on our way
to Randy in Texas
and what was in this for me again?
5 1/2 near-death experiences?
[crying] Hi, Visa.
It's me, Caroline.
My cards were stolen.
I've seen backs of vans
with better candy selections.
This is a disgrace to the
name Gas and Gobble.
How do you even wake up in the morning?
My alligator licks my face.
Oh, my God, Max.
Whoever stole our credit
cards maxed them out.
They spent the $1,500 we had left.
No way.
Someone just spent $1,500
on phone cards and cigarettes.
His name was Caroline Channing.
[gasps] What?
That's my name!
Ah, you got a dude's name.
Ugh, we were robbed.
Police!
BOTH: Where!
Max, I am tired and I'm hungry
and I can't find a mirror,
but I am sensing a
disturbance in my hair.
We have to go home!
But we have to go to Texas.
Randy needs me.
He's saying it on his Snapchat story.
Still on the movie set.
Pretty lonely,
so if anyone would respond
to my Words With Friends request,
I promise to let you win,
and if you're ever in Texas
why?
See? He's begging me to come there.
But we have no money to get to Texas.
Wrong.
I've got $11 in this one
and $32 in this one.
Lefty's been holding back as per usual.
So your 43 boob dollars
are gonna get us to Texas?
Don't rule out my roll
of butt quarters.
Sweaty but ready.
All right, can y'all folks lock up?
I got to make a riverboat
before it takes off to New Orleans.
My cousin Tim put a voodoo curse on me.
I got to talk to him about removing it.
Caroline,
New Orleans is close to Texas.
The Hamburglar says so
on my McDonald's placemat,
and he would never lie
unless it's about stealing
delicious hamburgers.
I'm confused.
Do you want hamburgers
or do you wanna take that riverboat?
Obviously, the dream scenario is both.
Ah, thank you very much.
Max, people have tickets.
You have to pay to get on this
what I'm positive will be my
sixth near-death experience.
So bend over and unclench.
We need those butt quarters.
Who are you?
My mother at a church carnival?
Have your tickets ready, please.
All we have to do
is act like we belong.
Do I at least get to have
an adorable Southern accent?
No accent.
[mimics Southern accent]
Well, I do declare
that is mighty disappointing.
Just follow my lead.
It's time to touch strangers.
Hey, you got a permit for those guns?
Well, I say,
you got a permit for
that light-up yo-yo?
I have a girlfriend.
Keep walking, buster.
Max, the riverboat doesn't get
to New Orleans for two days
and we have nowhere to sleep.
Ooh, but there is
a "Whittle Your Own Banjo"
workshop at 5:00.
I have whittle-to-no interest in that.
Ooh, it says they have
the loosest slots around.
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所属电视剧:2 Broke Girls
12. And the Riverboat Runs Through It 全部台词 (一共 4 页)
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