Previously on Desperate Housewives: Hey, Maisy.
Are you having an affair with my husband? Mistresses were confronted.
Very good to be back.
- What's that? I'm on house arrest.
It's a condition of my bail.
How will you work? - I can't.
I can't do anything.
The tables were turned, Lord, that's Angela.
and secrets from the past I'm afraid you're mistaken.
My wife's name was Mary Alice.
caught up with everyone.
I'm such an idiot! And you're such a liar! Oh, and apparently a killer! Throughout even the most respectable of neigbourhoods, you can hear the sound of scandal.
Some scandals announce themselves with a shout, Ida! Ida Greenberg, that is not your paper! some with a whisper Throw me a 20, and I'll hook you up with free porn.
and some with a bang.
Get the hell out of my life! And once in a great while, there comes a scandal so deliciously sordid its roar drowns out all other noise.
Does your husband know how many men pay for the privilege of sleeping in this bed? There's not a lot of sleeping going on.
Not if I'm doing my job right.
So, how do you want to get started? With these.
Well! That's gonna cost you extra.
Maisy Gibbons, you're under arrest for solicitation.
What? Please don't place your hands on the bed.
I'm sorry, I have to ask you to leave.
Now.
Hey! Get off me! This is entrapment! - Right.
You all are making a gigantic mistake.
Yeah.
Hey fellows, there's one for your memoirs.
Hey! Come on, lady! - No! Don't you touch me! Get your hands off me! - Take it easy, Ms Gibbons.
Yes, the scandalous arrest of Maisy Gibbons would soon prove to be the shot heard round the world.
-- Episode 16 -- THE LADIES WHO LUNCH Take it easy now.
- Don't you put me in here! It is often said that good news travels fast.
But as every housewife knows, bad news moves quite a bit faster.
Tish? Hey.
You are not going to believe this.
Maisy Gibbons was arrested.
- You cannot be serious.
Did you hear about Maisy? Maisy Gibbons running in handcuffs? I'd have killed to see that! Stay put, I'll be right back.
Ladies, please calm down now.
This is just a precaution.
If you'll just take a flier, we can work together -- Hey guys.
What's going on? Oh, there's been an outbreak of head lice.
Head lice? These fliers detail all important information concerning the situation, including the recommended delousing combs.
Delousing? Did they have to make it sound so disgusting? Does anybody know where it started? I'm sorry, that's confidential.
Barcliffe maintains a strict "no blame" policy.
Guys, over here! Parents have a right to know who brought this into our school! Please calm down, Ma'am.
Our position is there's nothing to be gained by pointing fingers.
To identify the child who initiated the outbreak might result in him/her being subjected to ridicule.
I -- excuse me.
If you'll just take a flier -- Stop scratching! Stop! Let's go! Hey! Stop scratching! See you later.
- Bye! What the hell -- Gabrielle! - What? Gabrielle! I think we got a problem here.
I can't hear you.
- I think we got a problem.
The water's backing up here.
- What? Is that sewage? Yeah, that's sewage.
Mike, the suspense is killing us.
Why don't you tell us the bad news.
Your outtake pipe is completely corroded.
That's why it collapsed.
We'll have to tear it out, re-pipe the whole system.
And how much will this cost? I'll do it at cost, but you're still looking at 6-7 grand minimum.
OK -- Well, we'll let you know.
If money is an issue -- Oh, no, no.
It's not the money.
It's just -- We were trying to prioritize some little things we need to do around the house.
And do you consider sewage backing up in the house a priority? It's definitely on the shortlist.
Right.
I was surprised you called me.
- Why? Well, ever since my arrest nobody here wants to have to do with me.
Innocent until proven guilty, my man.
I hope he's more innocent than you.
Hey, it's Lynette.
I know you're down about Mike, but you gotta come to poker.
It'll be worth it.
I got dirt on Maisy Gibbons.
Hey Susan, it's me.
I really wish you'd return my calls.
We need to talk.
I know I messed things up -- You OK? Hi.
I can stay home if you want.
No.
I know how much you were looking forward to this weekend with your dad.
I'm fine.
You don't look fine.
Well -- a little sad.
Mike and I were just a fling.
And not even a full fling.
Sort of a borderline fling.
Mom, anyone can see how much you loved him.
I also loved junk food, and I gave that up and survived.
There's your father.
Go have fun.
Last chance.
You sure? - I'm sure.
Now go! You'll find someone else, Mom.
Someone great.
I know.
What's wrong, Rex? Didn't you enjoy your golf game with Dr Wallace? I didn't play.
Still feeling sluggish.
Still? Did you talk to him about that? Of course.
He doesn't understand why the medication isn't working.
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