Previously on Desperate Housewives A reporter just did a story on homeless teens, my son is one of them.
Oh, my God.
Orson found Andrew.
Have I done stuff for money that I'm not proud of? Yeah, sure.
And the prodigal son returned.
Mike fell into a coma -What could be more romantic? -I could think of of something.
And Susan fell into the arms of another man a bit too soon.
The day Mike Delfino woke from his coma, Edie Britt was the first to know.
Once she was sure he was responsive Mike? Edie decided to share the good news with others.
Code red! Code red! My friend just woke up from his coma.
And that is how word began to spread.
Mike's physician, Dr.
Craig, was busy with a patient when he first heard the news.
Not long after, he called his aunt Ida, who was busy knitting a sweater.
She told Lynette Scavo, who was busy watering her lawn.
And she told her husband Tom, who was busy playing at computer game.
He then e-mailed his friend Carlos, Who was busy plotting strategy with his divorce lawyer.
And Carlos called his soon-to-be ex-wife Gabrielle, who was busy doing the same with hers.
Yes, word of Mike's miraculous recovery spread quickly throughout Wisteria Lane, and stopped cold everyone's busy, busy life Everyone, that is Except for Susan Mayer, who was busy doing something she would soon wish she hadn't.
By Tyno, Wisteria Forom.
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fr Edward Sibley was the beloved founder of the town of Fairview.
Prior to that, he was best known as a bootlegger a womanizer and a horse thief.
Of course, no one remembers those parts of Edward's past.
Luckily for him, history is designed to be rewritten And no one knew this better than Bree Hodge.
So you're just gonna lie to people? Oh, I'm not talking about a lie.
Just a polite fiction to explain to everybody where you've been.
I mean, we can't possibly tell them that you've been living on skid row, sleeping in a cardboard box.
So why do I have to go to this history fair anyway? I mean, it's just some dumb school contest.
We all know Danielle's not gonna win.
She never wins anything.
Is it weird eating off plates? 'Cause if you were more comfortable, you could just eat straight out of the garbage.
This is a family event, and we're all gonna enjoy it together.
Now, Danielle, stop sniping and start thinking of an alibi for your brother.
I know.
We could say he joined a cult, and we had to kidnap and deprogram him.
Well, that would certainly spare the family some embarrassment.
Why not throw in a killing spree, too? Well, here's a thought.
We say he was at drama camp.
It reflects Andrew's interest in the performing arts, while giving us a private joke to savor about the drama of his estrangement.
Uh, yeah, he is always like that.
Uh, guys, why can't we just tell the truth? Uh, I got out of line, you kicked me out, I lived on the street, and I came back home.
We'll need a name for this drama camp.
We got ties here, people! Designer ties, two for a dollar! Oh, do you like those barbells? Make me an offer.
I'm feeling generous.
Here's the customer I've been waiting for.
I'll give you $5 for this.
Carlos, I see you got my flier.
You're having a garage sale featuring menswear and sporting equipment.
I need cash, and you don't expect me to sell my stuff, do you? Those are my good cuff links! Those are my cds! Oh, my God, this is my baby blanket.
My Mamá knitted this! And it pains me to sell it.
It's just that my lawyer told me what you're offering for spousal support, and I can't get by on that.
Hey, I am doing the best that I can.
I've got a few deals in the pipeline, but I'm not making near as much as I used to.
So I should be punished? Attention, shoppers, for the next 20 minutes, free golf club with every purchase! Gaby, I'm trying to be civil, but if you don't knock it off right now, I swear, the gloves are coming off.
Oh, honey, the gloves aren't just off They're 70% off! Get your cashmere gloves! Hey, Parker, where's your uniform? You got your game in an hour.
No, I don't.
I quit.
What? I hate baseball.
Daddy said I don't have to play it anymore.
Well, Daddy should have checked with Mommy, so she could have a chance to tell him why he's wrong.
Hey, you're playing.
But, Mom, I suck! Everybody says so.
That's why they made up a fake position for me.
It is not fake.
There is not a team I know that could get along without their backup far right fielder.
Okay, come on, let's go practice.
All right, let's try it again.
Nice and easy.
Watch the ball hit the bat.
You ready? You can do it.
Here we go.
Okay, Parker, I keep telling you, you gotta keep your eyes open.
How are you gonna hit the ball when you're doing this? You threw it too fast.
Throw slower.
If I threw any slower, we would be bowling.
Hey.
Hey, whatcha guys doing? I'll tell you what we're not doing, quitting.
Oh, hey, buddy, did you change your mind? No.
Lynette, I told him that he didn't have to play anymore.
He's got five more games in the season.
He made a commitment.
He's gonna see it through.
But, Lynette, he doesn't like it, and if you haven't noticed, he kind of sucks.
Yeah, well, that's not the point.
What kind of message are we sending if we let him quit whenever the going gets rough? Honey, it is kids' baseball.
It's a way to kill three hours before they eat pizza.
Why you being such a hard-ass? Well, it's called parenting, Tom.
Watch and learn.
Okay, P-Dog, this is a curveball.
Again, opening the eyes.
Can't stress it enough.
Are you sure it's okay if we stay another day? Well, let's see.
What excuse did we use when we had this conversation yesterday? That we work hard, and we deserve to relax.
No, I believe that was last Thursday's rationale.
-Uh, fresh air is good for us? -Ah, Tuesday.
Okay, here's one Julie needs to spend more time bonding with her father.
Brilliant! If we keep this up, we could stay here till Christmas.
You know, sometimes when you smile like that, that, that really makes me think that, that What? What were you gonna say? Well, it makes me think that I could love you.
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