Previously on Desperate Housewives Wisteria Lane's new hero Hello? Superhero houses are great! Turned out to be anything but.
Orson's mother took up residence I've decided to accept your wife's kind invitation.
You wouldn't.
And Mike couldn't remember No memory, huh? That'sconvenient.
Anything at all.
Here's our search warrant.
We couldn't find a toolbox.
You might want to wash that wrench off.
It's got something on it.
I'm just saying that we never spend the night at your house.
But your place is so warm and cozy.
Oh, it's also a disaster area.
I didn't get a chance to clean it today.
Oops! Oh, here, let me.
Susan Mayer had never thought of herself as Cinderella, but then one day a prince showed up.
Well, we can't have you sleeping in squalor, can we? My place it is.
And Susan realized her life had become a fairy tale.
And since her prince had welcomed her into his castle, She felt the least she could do was thank him Again And again And again.
The next morning, however, Susan discovered castles Don't run themselves.
All right, oh But let's make it a quickie 'cause you are wasting water.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to startle you.
Who are you? I am Rupert.
I work for Mr.
Hainsworth.
That would be the man you slept with, in case names weren't exchanged.
Oh, no, I'm your boss' girlfriend.
Surely he mentioned me.
Mm, not that I recollect.
Rupert.
Good morning boss.
I thought you were off today.
Isn't Isn't your sister in town? Uh, that's next weekend, sir.
It's a good thing, too.
Otherwise, I might not have had the pleasure of meeting your girlfriend.
Susan? Yes, we met at the, um, at the hospital.
Why don't I fetch you a robe? Loving that idea.
Would you care for some breakfast? Omelette? Strawberry tart? Brioche? Um, yeah, that sounds great.
You pick.
Yes, Susan's life had indeed become a fairy tale.
You are aware there is a Mrs.
Hainsworth? Well, of course.
And what's a fairy tale Tart it is.
Without a dragon to slay? By Tyno, Wisteria Forom.
com & DHsubs.
free.
fr We know dangerous men walk among us.
What we can't be sure of is who they are or where they hide.
So the most we can offer any stranger is reasonable doubt.
But once the doubt is gone, people are anything but reasonable.
I am telling you, our neighbor is a pedophile, and I expect you to do something about it.
Mrs.
Scavo, he's not listed on any sex offender registry.
He's never had so much as a traffic ticket.
He's a single man with a basement full of toys! I understand your concern, but we can't book a guy on possession of toys.
You don't get it.
His house had this creepy vibe.
Tell him, Tom.
I never went down to the actual room Okay, he wasn't there.
He doesn't know.
Look, he had a wall full of pictures of half-naked boys in swimsuits.
Didn't you say he was a swim coach? What are you, his lawyer? You have to admit, it's odd.
Here's what's odd If your neighbor had something to hide, why'd he invite you in to see all of his stuff? He wasn't technically home when I went inside.
So you broke in? The door was open I was bringing him a cake.
A cake? It was a "thank you" cake.
He sort of saved my life.
She didn't know thate was a pedophile when she baked the actual cake.
He doesn't care about the cake, Tom.
-Why are you snapping at me? -I'm not snapping at you.
-You're totally snapping.
-I am snapping because there is a monster across the street, and Barney Fife here is making me sound like the bad guy! Look, I'm sorry.
She's been under a lot of stress, hasn't slept well.
You better not be apologizing for me! Gotta go.
So, I've got some fabulous news.
Well, I hope it's more fabulous than this dress.
I look something Ike Turner would hit.
You're gonna have to find yourself another personal shopper.
What, I slam one dress, and you quit on me? No, that's my news.
I'm leaving the store and starting my own business.
"Beauty by Vern"? You're opening up a salon? God, could you get any gayer? It's a consulting firm for beauty pageant contestants.
And the answer's "yes.
" This week, I'm coaching little girls for the Miss Snowflake pageant.
It's very rewarding.
Hey, you know what might be fun? If you come down and give a talk.
You know, give the kids some pointers.
Vern, I worked the catwalks in Milan and Paris.
I'm not gonna give makeup tips to little miss training bra.
You have been in rare bitch form.
It's been months now, so don't blame it on your cycle.
Don't call me a bitch, and stop tracking my cycle.
I told you that freaks me out.
I'm just saying you've been very cranky today.
What's going on? The divorce decree came through today.
Carlos is officially out of my life.
Oh, honey.
The girls' ages range 8 to 12.
We meet every Thursday in the rec room of the elks lodge.
I'm not doing it.
You need a project.
That's your problem, you're bored.
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