Yeah, man, everything
is measured, cut, marked.
Just needs to be mounted.
Right, you can
take it from here?
You're hopeless, man.
No, no, it's cool, I got it.
I will just come back
after the trip
and take care of it,
finish it up.
Yeah.
No, no, no, we know about you
and power tools, bud.
No, I got it.
Jeez. Yeah, I know.
Sure.
Right. Oh my God, man.
So, did you use this thing
to cut a cake
or to skin a bear?
This big-ass knife
you got in this box
marked "wedding stuff."
Really?
I don't remember it
being this big.
I was really drunk, though.
Right, yeah, I set myself up
for that one.
Okay.
Yeah, no, I got it.
I'm just gonna lock up.
I'm gonna drink
some of your beer,
eat some of your food,
that way I can avoid
Misha's cooking.
Yeah, it's that bad.
Right. Yeah, okay,
well, hurry your ass up.
Let's get on the road.
Fucking kidding me!
What was that?
Jim and Neil's dog came over
to our property again.
Oreo? He's harmless.
Yeah, well, he comes over
to the yard
and he pisses
all over my stuff.
I had a million-dollar job
on Avolencia last week
and all my gear
smelled like dog piss.
I told Jim if he did it again,
I was gonna toss him back over.
Don't tell me that you threw
Oreo over the fence.
I didn't throw him
over the fence, jeez.
I picked him up,
I set him down
over the shortest portion
of the fence.
He squirmed out of my arms
at the last minute.
Threw him over the fence?
Jesus Christ.
You love to blow shit out
of proportion, you know that?
If that was
your precious garden, though,
- oh, man...
- You know what?
Let's not do this right now.
They're gonna be here
any minute.
Fine.
Have you been reading these?
Yeah.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Wow.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to barge in here like this
and acting all crazy.
I just...
I mean, this is amazing.
Look, I promise you,
I'm gonna make the best father.
And this kid,
he's gonna be an all-American
by his freshman year
of college.
Or she, she will be
an all-American.
No, I don't know.
What don't you know?
This could be a game changer
for us.
Hayden, a baby
doesn't fix a marriage.
A baby isn't magic.
Sometimes it makes things worse.
Let's just talk about this
when we get back,
and we need to get ready.
They're gonna be here
any minute, come on.
We have to go.
I got it, I got it.
You guys should take in
this fresh air.
I'm comin'. Comin'.
Yeah, man, not bad.
Not bad.
I'm so relieved, it's...
It's pretty good.
You doubted me?
You don't think
I can put together
a kick-ass weekend?
Well, now that
we're rewriting history,
we'll just forget that vacation
from two years ago.
Yeah, let's definitely
forget about that one.
Wait, I didn't hear
any of you guys complaining
when you all got
a full refund, so...
Well, it really is beautiful
out here.
- It actually is.
- Yeah, it is.
It's quiet.
All right,
so is there a bellhop
or we got to get
these bags ourselves?
Oh my God.
- What?
- Look.
Oh my God, you guys,
he's not moving.
Who's not... what?
- Hold on.
- Stay here.
What?
Hey, man, you okay?
I don't think
he's breathing, man.
Oh! Ah!
Oh, Jesus!
That's the point, though,
you never know.
Never know what?
Never know when the element
of surprise might, uh,
surprise ya.
Is everything okay?
Ooh, son.
One of you guys dealing drugs
or a hip-hop guy or something?
Yeah, I like me
a practical ride,
but that's a gas guzzler
right there.
Whatever tickles your pickle,
though, am I right?
Ladies, ladies, ladies.
Bo-Lee.
I live down on the property.
I'll be your concierge
for the weekend.
I'm Misha, and this is Nora.
Ah, pleasure.
Bo-Lee.
I like that.
Yep, Bo hyphen Lee.
It's a family name.
Bo, Hayden.
I'm the one
who booked the place.
Yeah, it's Bo-Lee.
That's my buddy, Chris.
And it looks like
you already met the wives.
Mm-hm.
You boys are gonna
have yourselves
a damn fine time
this weekend, huh?
Okay.
As the song goes,
follow the leader.
You know, say, man,
seeing you
on the ground like that,
we thought you were dead.
Maybe I was.
Nah, helps my spine.
Old back injury.
Yeah, my chiropractor
says the same thing.
Lay on the lumpy ground
with some gravel.
It does wonders for your back.
Watch your step.
You coming, Nora?
Great job.
Thank you.
All right.
So we got, uh,
we got an L shape.
There's a bedroom
down that way.
There's two more down there.
Each got their own bathroom,
you know, a commode
and everything.
Given there's two pair of ya,
it might be a good idea
to sleep on opposite ends
of the house anyway,
know what I mean?
That's the living room
over there.
Fireplace, feel free to use.
Woo!
Uh, kitchen, got a kitchen,
uh, table, chairs.
Go out this door here,
there's like a courtyard
and whatnot.
You got lots of land here,
a barn, stables down there.
You got the run
of the property,
you know, except, uh,
except those trailers.
That's where I stay.
Mm. People always ask, uh,
they're asking about internet
and cable TV.
No, sir.
I got some DVDs you can borrow
if you like.
If you need to get on the web,
there's a coffee place
down in town,
and there's a bar
across from the Payless.
I go down there to watch
the kung fu fights.
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